But, Virginia, they didn’t give you quite enough information …
Posted by Rick - 23/04/02 at 09:04:39 pmI was raised Catholic. And honestly, I have no complaints about my religious up-bringing. I fondly recall listening to Bob Dylan songs sung by long-haired hippies at “folk” Masses held in the local middle school’s gymnasium while our local Parish was being built. My mother deciding we should attend the gym Masses rather than continuing to attend St. Patrick’s for the three years it would eventually take to complete our new church. Besides, she wanted to get to meet the other families and, being a kind-hearted generous woman, she also wanted to help however she could. So I became an altar boy, attended CCD, and played CYO basketball while she helped with white elephants and bake sales.
I even liked the chain-smoking Parish priest, Father Stack, who would have his pre-Mass cigarette outside the church wearing his leather bomber jacket over his black cassock. Father Stack was an avid Redskins fan who would occasionally skip Sunday’s homily so he wouldn’t miss the kick-off. I recall one time, when the Redskins were in the play-offs, where he skipped the homily and there was a soft, but audible, cheer from the men in the pews. Immediately followed by choruses of shushes by wives and mothers. The only “abuse” Father Stack ever bestowed upon me was an occasional play-slap to the back of my head when he would find me kneeling in prayer in a back pew. He always followed up his slaps by saying things like “you look so holy when you’re praying, Ricky-babe” in a voice I now hear in my head as though he sounded like Humphrey Bogart.
I eventually made the decision to leave the Catholic church. (I guess more accurately I stopped paying dues and attending meetings. It’s not like I sent a letter to the the CEO and turned in my rosary.) But not because of any abuse. The church and I had simply grown apart and didn’t see eye-to-eye anymore.
However, despite my fond recollections of Father Stack, there are still many things about the crimes being committed by Catholic priests against children that disturb me. And I am angry by the blame being assigned homosexuals as the church continues to point fingers at everyone but themselves.
One last thing has me confused: Why is this being discussed as though it is an American problem? Why were the U.S. cardinals called to Rome to discuss “the problems in the church in the United States in the wake of scandals connected with pedophilia?” Why the emphasis on American priests? Is there more of a problem in the United States? Or it because there is more media attention provided to the issue here?
Related:
- BBC: “Pope Condemns US Church Sex Abuse”
- CNN: Factfile: Church Rocked by Sex Scandals
- Washington Post: Pope Addresses U.S. Cardinals
- CNN: “Pope Says Bishops’ Decisions ‘Wrong’”
- Time: Catholicism in Crisis
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kevin, i agree: the damage to the trust is as bad as the abuse itself. perhaps this sense that we can’t trust those who have been ordained in spiritual guidance (Catholic or otheriwse) is the big issue pushing the sense of spiritual bankruptcy?
thanks for brining a canadian perspective to this.
love and peace,
Comment by heidi — April 24, 2002 #
Of course there’s more of a problem in the United States. The U.S. priests are the ones who got caught, causing the problem. Honestly, I believe the only problem the Church has with this situation is that some priests got caught being pedophiles, not that some priests are pedophiles.
Comment by josh — April 24, 2002 #
I am not sure how the pope has made the link between pedophilia and homosexuality. It is not GAY priests that are the problem. I was raised catholic and I was lucky to have been influenced by some great priests. I never had problems with the priests, what I do have problems with is an unbending Church that has little respect for women and their rights. (A little off topic, but the Church is one of my hot buttons.)
Comment by liz — April 24, 2002 #
Your opinion is not off-topic at all, Liz, and much appreciated. In fact, the Catholic Church’s treatment of women is a “hot button” for me as well. I think the church is reaping what it sowed, and they should reconsider their positions on the role of women in the the church, including letting them be priests if they wish to serve in that way. I did try to avoid slamming the Catholic church in this post — unless one reads my source code ahem — because I wanted to avoid that can of worms while still questioning the church in its handling of the issue as if it is a American phenomenon.
Comment by Rick — April 24, 2002 #
rick, hang on to your fond memories of father stack. it’s good to hear them now. as you know, i am in no way religious, but i believe religion serves its purpose and if you have these times to look back on they are evidence of a kind and gentle and REAL aspect to the church. these incidents are the exceptions…not the norm.
Comment by april — April 24, 2002 #
Thanks April. That is why I shared the anecdote before commenting on the issues in the media. I realise that not all of these priests are bad, and despite my current beliefs I still am happy with my religious upbringing. But mostly because of my mother’s role in it. Not necessarily the church.
Comment by Rick — April 24, 2002 #
Thanks for your memories. As a fellow St. Pat’s alum, I too share your memories. Church transcended a religious experience, it was the touchstone of our community - a place for families to go and connect. My best memory was that it was the best place to go in high school to find out where the parties would be that night! I agree that the recent findings in regard to molestations are horrific, but my personal experiences as a child were incredibly kind, and the farthest things from the accusastions. It’s too bad the media can’t cover both sides…
Comment by stephany — April 24, 2002 #
As i have followed the unfolding of the catholic scandal, the issue seems to have been brought to crisis state due to not only as a result of the vast machinery of the American media attention, though that certainly plays into it. I think the American bishops were responding to the pressure of their congration, and actively sought the ear of the Vatican.
The crisis in among American Catholics has become one that threatens the actual Catholic establishment here. In other countries, priests are expected to be a bit odd, and any behaviour of theirs is seen as a Church problem, not one that belongs to the secular sphere at all. Yet Americans have weathered (among others) Watergate, the S&L crisis, Clinton’s sex days (daze?) and (most recently) the Enron scandal. The common thread in these is the sense that somehow the coverup is worse than the crime itself.
Americans in particular find themselves looking at the overall hierarchy and wondering “how could this have happened?” along with “How could this go on for so long?” There is a great push among the laity to have the resignation of Cardinal Law, something that simply wouldn’t be seen as an answer in Europe. We Americans have a long tradition of wresting the control away from the top and giving more of a voice to the lay people, both in the government and in the surviving vestiges of the Church of England. By the time the Protestant Episcopal Church of the United States of America became a separate, distinct and recognized Church, it had lopped off the Archbishop role entirely and shifted a great amount of the authority and participation down the line. The laity in the Episcopal structure were elevated to have a voice, much in the same way the average man was elevated within the political structure of the newly formed United States.
Comment by heidi — April 24, 2002 #
All this is to say that American Catholics really are experiencing a crisis. Many Catholics find themselves wondering why their interests weren’t represented, how decisions on this issue seem to have been made in a cloistered back room, and how the secrecy plays out into their sense of faith in the Church system. I think it is remarkable that the Pope actually condemned the actions as a crime. While abuse is certainly criminal, the Church has traditionally seen its members as participating in a system that handles its own. To have the Pope acknowledge the place of secular law is not insignificant.
It does bear pointing out that while average American Catholics might be experiencing a crisis of belief in the system, they remain true to their faith itself. That alone will go far to healing the damage that has been done, and could in fact create a stronger Church as the result. Much as the resulting scandal clean-up from the 80’s stock market swindle created a stronger sense of trust in the market system itself, which set the way quite clearly for the bull market.
I lament the blame of homosexuals in this. I lament that at every turn when the American Catholic priesthood is mentioned, homophobia seems destined to have its say. I am glad to see that the issues of priests as people are being considered more seriously than they have been for a long time: celibacy and the ordination of women are issues that, thought not directly related, are being given the most serious consideration in decades, if not ever. At a point where the American culture is spiritually bankrupt, it would do my heart good to see a spiritual establishment emerge stronger. Am I being too optimistic about the possibilities here?
love and peace,
Comment by heidi — April 24, 2002 #
Raised as a strict Catholic, with daily family Rosaries and the like, my alienation from the church was mostly driven by the failures of priests. Indeed, this is hardly an American problem; in Newfoundland, Canada, starting in the 80s, plenty of priests were accused, and convicted, of abuse. The diocese was accused of a cover-up, but this didn’t generate anything near the attention we see today. One priest in particular, Father Hickey, became a boogey-man like figure in my elementary school…”Father Hickey will get you!” I don’t know the numbers, but he abused many over decades in a Newfoundland outport. Then there were the Christian Brothers, who ran the Mount Cashel orphanage in St. John’s, I believe from the 50s on. Orphans, who already had enough to deal with, were abused through all those years (the CBC made an excellent movie called “The Boys of St. Vincent’s”). Mount Cashel was demolished maybe 10 years ago, and I’d guess near 20 brothers have been charged, dating back 40 or 50 years, with probably over 30 complainaints. In my own life, I’ve known priests closely who were later accused of these crimes.
I don’t quite have a point, but I’m vehement about this issue. To compromise trust in such a way is a poisoning thought. Many good catholics find their faith now by rallying “The church is bigger than this”, and though I might admire them somewhat, I don’t share their conviction. Newfoundland has been through this before, years before the Americans. It’s broader than the US, it’s got little to do with being a homosexual, and it’s damning to catholics like myself who’ve had to find spirituality elsewhere.
Comment by Kevin — April 24, 2002 #
Well Rick, you opened a can of worms with this one.
I’m about as far from Catholicism as one can be, but I wanted to share a Father Stack story. When I was 13 or 14 I went up to St. Patricks to try to spring a friend (it was Bob, actually) from CCD. Class was in session when I got there so I decided it would be a good idea to “moon” everyone from outside. I snuck up to the window, pulled down my pants and shook my ass for all to see. I remember being real impressed with myself as I was zipping up and preparing to flee. But, like lightning, Father Stack was suddenly there, outside, blocking my exit. I expected him to yell and scream but he very calmly explained to me how silly I looked, then he made some sort of joke, then he very politely invited me to come inside and join the class. He caught me so off-guard that I ended up going in and sitting through the class. Of course, I talked a good talk afterwards and slandered him a bit, but secretly I thought it was a cool move. It really changed my outlook on adults/the church at the time.
Props to the Stack!
Comment by brian — April 25, 2002 #
i was raised catholic from when i was 8 to about 13… they ripped me out of the church i was happy with, it made me miserable.
Comment by addie — April 25, 2002 #
My last post at this popular site (yeah scully!) seemed pretty venomous, in part beacuse of my involvement with the church these past few years. I wanted to point out, though, that as I watch the updates and think about my experiences, there are many things I owe to the church and to my friendships with priests. One priest I knew (since lost contact) introduced me to many things…travelling, reading, classical music, jazz…that I would have had trouble learning myself in a smaller community. I am grateful for having known him, but he’s since had troubles…though he’s a nice, wise man, still, I assume. It’s a challenge to reconcile this in my head.
I am glad, in this case, that the American public and press is so tenacious. While this may have been successfully hidden from international attention in Canada, the American microscope won’t let it go. Maybe the coming policies, and even reform, will strengthen the church…we’ll see.
Cheers,
Comment by Kevin — April 26, 2002 #
Youuuuu didn’t count on me
You counted on your rosary
Woah-whoa-whoa…
they say there’s a heaven for those who await
some say it’s better but I say it ain’t
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
the sinners are much more fun!
Sorry, I just had to finish your quote. I love that song.
Comment by lori — April 26, 2002 #
The song was the bane of Catolic parents everywhere when it came out, Lori. My mother was very upset that a jewish guy would be writing pop songs asking catholics girls to question their faith.
Comment by Rick — April 26, 2002 #
one of the things i find strangest about all of this is that it’s making big news now. why now? it’s not like it hasn’t been going on for years. why should catholicism suddenly be “in crisis” now? these problems, and many others, have existed nearly as long as the church has.
i was raised catholic too, right down to 11 years in catholic schools. i wouldn’t have said that i’ve left the church really, but the two things you cite as examples (not paying dues or attending meetings) are true of me, too, so i guess i have. but like stephany, my experience of the church was mostly loving and kind, and like you, i really don’t have any beef with my upbringing. i still disagree with a good deal of what the church wants me to believe, but i don’t think that agreeing with every pope’s interpretation of the word of god is a prerequisite for being loved and accepted by god. i don’t think that’s ever what it was supposed to be about. the catholic church gave me the blocks and i built the faith with them.
it’s really unfortunate that the church hasn’t been able to begin working on its many problems in time to keep this from becoming front-page news. it’s not new, and it needs to be dealt with. i’m afraid that now it’s just going to become another media spectacle.
Comment by ellen — May 7, 2002 #