The Joke’s on Me
As with any new undertaking, the addition of livestock to our lives has involved some adjustments and has given us some new experiences. Earlier this week, one of our sheep gave me an experience I was not prepared for.
Our small barn is located at the bottom of the driveway, and as I do every morning on my way out, on Thursday I slowed down as I passed to have a peek at the animals and make sure all was well. Alarmingly, I saw one of our grown ewes, Anisette, laying by herself at the edge of the barn in a very awkward position with one leg sticking up at a weird angle. My first thought was, “Oh, no, one of the sheep is dead!” This was immediately followed by “Marian is going to kill me!” Heart pounding, I hit my breaks, ready to leap out of the car, when the sound of gravel under the tires caught the flock’s attention. Anisette popped her head up, righted herself, then stood looking at me as if to say “What?” Though I was overjoyed to see she was OK, I was confounded by my misinterpretation.
After hearing this story, a coworker suggested that perhaps Anisette had been interrupted during her morning yoga routine. I thought the idea of a farmer freaking out over her yoga-practicing livestock would make a great one-panel cartoon (a la Gary Larson’s “The Far Side”). Too bad I can’t draw worth a dime, but if any of our readers can I encourage you to use the idea. Maybe it could even be printed on a t-shirt.
Smile! You’re on Al’s camera …
On Saturday we went to the 9:30 Club to see and hear one of our favorite bands: moe. We have a particular perch we like, and so arrived quite early in order to make sure we could secure our seats. While standing in line, we kept noticing people going in and out of the band bus, which was parked near the entrance to the club.
I wasn’t paying much attention, so I was surprised when I eventually realized that Al Schnier, (guitar/keyboards/vocals) was holding court outside the main entrance. Lately, moe. has been letting folks video and audiotape some of their concerts, so Al was surrounded by mini-DV cams, and the fans holding them. Somehow, it wasn’t a paparazzi madhouse. I was mesmerized by the natural vibe, and the way that Al seemed to blend in, to emanate a sense of calm that everyone around him picked up. I had no desire to participate, just wanted to hang back and listen in. After about 10 minutes of relaxed interaction, Al disappeared back inside the club.
My focus wandered back to the people standing next to me in line, and to the fact that I could no longer feel my toes due to the cold temperature. Before I’d realized it, Al had come out of the club again, gone into the bus, and popped back out with his own DV-cam in hand. Now it was his turn to ask the questions.
Video Chat Tennis, Anyone? …
Video chat is like conversation ping pong. It takes practice. It is not as simple as it might seem, and isn’t similar to other forms of communications with which we are familiar.
When you chat with a friend on the telephone, you can do other things. You can multi-task! You can prep dinner with the phone cradled against your ear, and still make out the music coming from the CD you have on in the other room. Your friend might be attending to personal hygiene matters—such as clipping their nails, you dirty-minded gutterheads—while sneaking peeks at Jeopardy on the tube, for all you know.
With instant message (IM) you can juggle even more tasks. You can check the weather, catch up on the news, check e-mail, listen to music, and still be able to discuss the unimportance of Janet Jackson’s bejeweled mammary on IM with a friend halfway around the world. Your friend, in turn, might be chatting with their partner, reading an article you just sent about what an asshat our president is, while listening to BBC radio. Whatever your “buddy” may be doing, you can rest assured, they are not sitting there with baited breath waiting for you to reply. They are doing other things. Just. Like. You.
Even in-person conversations can flow uninterrupted while participants do other things. Dining probably being the most popular, I’d assume. One small difference with face-to-face interactions is that—more intimate ones, at least—can often involve silence. Silence is a beautiful thing. Not the silence of sitting in front on the telly, waiting for the commercial break. The silence of sitting in front of a fireplace, or reading in another’s company.
But none of this is preparation for video chat…
New Homeowners Anonymous? …
As a general rule, Rick and I try not to watch very much TV, and we have been quite good about sticking to “educational” (renovating/decorating, cooking, or nature shows) or sports programs. However, lately I think our TV-viewing has gotten out of hand. I mean, one can only watch so many home decorating programs.
Earlier this week, we were watching a show about redesigning a master bathroom. One of the proposed floorplans had the toilet in the middle of the room, between the sink and the shower enclosure. While the homeowners kept mentioning that they wanted the toilet in a separate water closet inside the main bathroom, they also kept repeating the phrase: “light and airy.” All of a sudden my vivid imagination combined these requests and I couldn’t help giggling madly to myself. Rick looked over and asked, “What’s so funny?”
I don’t feel pretty …
“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his points of view—until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” —Atticus Finch
I don’t care what anyone thinks. It doesn’t makes me any less of a man to wear my wife’s undergarments. I am confident in my manhood! And, dammit, her long johns keep my ass warm!